Skippy - quite simply, The Bird.

So I had new year over again last sunday. January has proven to be a most testing month for me and i am not sorry to see it pass into february. It's funny how before I thought January was the worst month and for the only reason that it was miserable after a holiday, with no money and all that.

General slap into perspective is having to go to a child's funeral the second week into the month, a nephew, the child of someone you care for and now have to watch grieve as you're powerless to offer any kind of support. I hate feeling inadequate, I hate feeling like I can't help someone but they're in a place I can't go and which I hope I never have to go to.

It's been tough dealing with my own grief and the pressures of life, work and worry for them. I cannot believe in religion, someone said religious people have more hope but I have to disagree. How can you have hope in an almighty being that allows a child to die and a rapist or child molester carry on about their business like nothing happens? Seems kinda twisted to me.

I have no faith, I can't have faith in a fairytale, I respect people who do but I cannot. I feel comfort in the fact that his heart was defective and it was meant to happen. He wasn't going to live long. This is comfort. Painful comfort but comfort nontheless and I hope it means that people are more alert to the fact that heart issues don't necessarily develop in babies until they're a few weeks old. I hope it means that people are more alert to the fact that life is really REALLY fleeting and arguing about feck all just wastes time.

These bits they don't tell you about when you're wet behind the ears and bright eyed with the hope for future. But "the future is bright" to coin a large UK mobile phone network and I am looking forward to a year of change, a good year full of fun and good times, a new, new year.

Cheers.