Hands on a miracle

Well things are getting on here and I've not had time to blog because FINALLY I delivered my little man on monday 27th April.

Logan Alan was born at 13.27pm after a rather eventful labour weighing in at a whopping 9lbs and 15oz and a full head of spikey hair!

I went in to be induced on sunday night, 16 days overdue (by choice as I wanted labour to start naturally) and was given an exam and the first pessary at 11.30. I was 2 cm dilated and all was ok. My Al and I spent the wee small hours dealing with mild back ache, going for walks and generally just passing the time. At 5.30 the midwife gave me another exam and my waters broke but I was still only 4cm dilated and having pains but nothing major.

By 7.30am I was having intense backache pain every 4 mins and they were worried he was back to back but that wasn't the case so they offered me pain relief which I refused - I figured if these were the "starting" contractions I'd need the diamorphine for actual labour. They told me i'd be re-examined at 11.30 and would be put on the drip.

By 9.30am I couldn't stand it anymore and was having the urge to push so I told her and she kinda smiled (used to us expectant mothers fretting I think she thought) and examined me, then ran out of the door to get the midwife as the head was on its way. Another reason to listen to your own instincts as I was right! 10cm dilated and he was on his way.

I was moved to the delivery suite and given gas and air and a crazy midwife who was fab but even after an hour of pushing he refused to turn his head just that small amount that would allow me to deliver him. It was now 11.30 am and I was desperately trying to get him out but the midwife was worried I was exhausted so they whipped me down to theatre to get him out via forceps. Quite scary as they gave me a spinal which made me numb from the boobs down, but also quite an experience as all the theatre staff were laughing and joking (and lovely) and I watched them as they got him out. Being told he was so big made it all make perfect sense as to why I just couldn't push him. He's going to have broad shoulders like his Grandad and Uncle Andy.

However it did mean I have a 3rd degree tear which is a pain in the butt (literally as it's a tear all the way through the nether bits to the back bit which needed stitches ew ew ew!) and I was quite disappointed that I didn't manage to push him out myself but I'm so over the moon with my little man that I couldn't care less about stiches in my nether regions!

I managed to escape hospital on thursday 30th and am now at home, I managed to breast feed in hospital but as my milk came in he could not draw the milk from me and I couldn't express more than a drop by hand or pump it doesn't matter how much I massaged or pummeled my poor mauled boobs. I was disappointed with that and I think it added to the next hurdle we faced come the bank holiday sunday when his biliruben levels were over 300 and he was whooshed into Alderhey to be put under the heat lamps. It's common with big babies and breast fed babies as it takes a while for the system to flush out the extra red blood cells in their bodies but it's still scary. I was exhausted and fed up. But it helped and he's looking less yellow every day.

This last week we have been at home just learning about each other. I cannot describe the feelings I have when I look at him or when he looks at me. It's overwhelming love, fear, panic and adoration rolled into one. Worth every moment so far despite no sleep and all the other bits and bobs. I'm already dreading going back to work as I don't know how I'm going to cope leaving him so young with someone. I feel like I'm going to miss out on so much as he's changing daily.

but finally I feel a little more alive and have begun thinking we should really introduce him to his aunties and uncles now as we're less zombified! When you coming for a cuddle Auntie Gem and Auntie Nich?

Auntie Lexy we shall endeavour to make an incredible journey up to see you when I'm expressing and have myself sorted out so you can have a cuddle :D

xxx