ok so i didn't get to post last week, it was all a bit too hectic however i intend to make this a double blog.
A friend of mine posted something on facebook and it made me think about how weird we are as a race. we never seem to support people, just slap them down into small pieces for doing what they think is best. I am alluding to the grim ideal that is "parenting type" - i suppose that should be plural as there seem to be many ways to "guide" parents on what is the "best" way to raise their child.
AP (attachement parenting - everything is baby led, everything is centred on the child), Gina Ford (the opposite everything is centred on the routine), baby whisperers, dr sears, miriam stoppard, jo frost...the list is endless and each has its own take. This in itself isn't a terrible thing, having info is a good thing i think but it made me realise what freako's there are out there that villify people for 'not doing it right'
Are we really that unflexible? Are we expected to be this rigid - and everything must be one set of rules? Is that not as restrictive as all these "mean" centile charts based on average babies (who has ever known an average baby?) Is it acceptable to rubbish someone because they chose not to "follow" them..and in any case - who are they to judge? (usually people who are insecure in their own decisions I find!)
I took advice from all angles and squished it into my "parenting style" (whatever the feck that means) - i love AP but it wasn't practical to co-sleep or be so free as my OH smokes and i had to return to work so early. I love BLW but i chose to offer purees and a spoon and finger foods on the side so my kids could just have fun! i found Gina ford way to restrictive but it was handy for recognising my boys personal routines, which in turn helped us function as a family. I used PUPD (pick up put down) to aid my children in sleeping - but i also slept holding them if they needed me to. i never used Cry it Out. I use a naughty step, I like to hug my kids and explain first, but I don't like smacking. I like the ideas the I try to keep my temper but sometimes i don't. i actually was pointed towards a blog this week Awesomely Awake about a shouting mom who had, had enough of shouting. It was really cool and i am gonna try it out..its all about constant learning and cherry picking what works for you I think and no one should be made to feel...wrong, for doing so.
But much like decidine to breast feed, or deciding to bottle feed, people should support the decision, not judge or belittle...and sadly people seem to :(
In other news tho, smallest has decided he doesnt like wearing nappies so has perfected the knack of getting it off...but not the knack of using the potty..DOH!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
1 comment:
So so true. I think parents have to be so strong and pick n mix the methods that work for them. But on the other hand if you have something that worked for you, it's so hard not to judge others for doing other things that aren't working. A friend of ours used to have their child up til nearly midnight so they could spend time with the dad once he was home. We were all horrified but it's all become a bit of a joke that she'll end up with a terror who'll never fit into what the parents want...that's not going to happen, she's just got a daughter who isn't fussed about needing lots of sleep and is really cheery little girl. All of ours would be nightmares if that's what we allowed. Luckily we all get on well enough to know that we're all sharing our learnings & taking the mick of each other's methods.
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