I can't find it...

I think my get up and go, got up and went.

I just feel exhausted at the moment. It was my aunts funeral yesterday which was a good day in a strange way. It was very her and I will never quite listen to reach for the stars again in the same way. It makes me smile so that's the best bit about it, as she wanted that.

But I don't know whether it's that or if it's just a combination of things and work being so busy but I can't seem to feel anything other than exhausted. Being a working parent is hard. I hear so many people saying it's the easy way out getting someone else to look after your kids etc.. but I beg to differ. My day starts at 5,30am when I have to get ready to go to work, get the kids up and changed ready to go to the childminder. Then on to work for 7.30am with few breaks until 4pm when i sprint for the bus and dash home to pick the boys up, feed them, bath them and get them into bed for 7pm and try and have some fun time in that time as well. And then find time for dinner, sorting out house work/stuff and maybe catch up with the other half before passing out in bed by 10pm to be woken around 1 for the baby to feed or just have a chat or at 3 by the cat or the baby. Repeat... i never seem to have time for myself that lasts longer than 20 mins on the bus. I don't begrudge my boys AT ALL but I wish i could spend more time with them instead of trying to cram it in to next to no time in a day. It's really stressful.

I know it could be worse though so I veer between being stressed to hell and being grateful. AARGH.

Oh well, on a lighter note Bean decided to sample the cats biscuits this morning. The conversation went thus -

Me: "did you just eat some of the cat biscuits?"
Logan: *crunch* "yes" *crunch*
Me: "Dude they're for the cat. Poor Izzy needs her food!" - as I put the food out of reach.
Logan: "'at 'ood gone? All gone now...mMMMM Nice iksgits!"

*facepalm*