Wow I forget what a contraversial topic breast/bottle feeding is. I posted a status on Facebook last week showing support for being pro-choice for a few friends who are trying to highlight this. It seems to me we live in a society where you are either a bad mum for bottle feeding or a bad mum for breastfeeding (in public! Oh the Victorian outrage).
Personally I would like to see it where we are not judged on our feeding choices. We are not made to feel inferior because we "can't" breastfeed or made to feed like a pervert for needing to feed our child in a cafe. Either way it seems someone is going to make a judgement and what I find hardest about that is that it's usually other women. This is the worst possible case scenario to me. Women are most vulnerable when they have this tiny mewling little new being in their arms. The emotions coursing through them is indescribable and can be overwhelming so the last thing they need is some smartarse making them feel like a failure. Failure to get the baby to latch, failure to make milk, failure to even try, failure to use a bottle. It's wrong wrong wrong.
I mix fed my boys as I had to return to work very early on in their lives so breastfeeding couldn't go on longer than 6-7 weeks and bottles had to be familiar. With Bean I managed that, with Noodledoodle I gave up after 9 days as I found coping with recovery from a c-section plus a toddler with jealousy a major issue, so I moved to full time formula.
The government guidelines are breast is best and in some areas support is brilliant but in their wisdom they forget that yes it's natural, yes it's how we fed our babies before, but we also lived in close knit communities where there was 24/7 female support for mothers and if the worst thing happened, wetnurses available to take over. This simply doesn't happen anymore, infact it's the major reason they invented formula, to accomodate the shift in society from wetnursing and living in family units. So where does that leave a mother who can't feed her baby?
She'll come out feeling like she failed and people will tut at her for not breastfeeding - and she'll feel like she's failed. And if she did breast feed and tried to feed on demand, people will tut at her for having the gall to feed in public, it's disgusting, why don't you go into the toilet..
I would love to see women supported for their choices, whichever one that it is. To be given the credit to make the best choice for their family and have the support they need. Why do I think though that it won't happen in this society? One that likes to judge and follow in the prudishness of the Victorians.
1 comment:
So agree with you on this. I don't feel guilty at all or a failure for my son refusing to suck and us having to move to formula before even coming out of hospital. I tried to BF, then express, but actually he was already thriving on formula and it's really worked for us. But it should be all about choice, and new mothers should be able to be confident and sure that the choice they've made (or hopefully been able to make rather than forced into one way or the other), is right for them and their baby.
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